There would be no wars if women ran the world! Just that Nations dont speak to each other for centuries!
Doc said Multiple personalities, WHAT CRAP! WE DON'T BELIEVE HIM!
If someone throws a stone at you, throw a flower back, ensure the flower is in the POT still!!
What does a burnt-toast & a pregnant girlfriend have a common thought in mind? IN BOTH CASES, THE MAN THINKS "I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN IT OUT 2 SECONDS EARLIER"
Husband&wife making a password for the computer. Man types "mypenis" wife falls on to the ground laughing bcoz computer pops up an error: TOO SHORT
FOLLOW ME.. if you want to come 2nd!
some ppl talk crap & nasty stuff behind ur back. good that u r one step AHEAD of'em!
your status is SINGLE because your heart is TAKEN!
i love the keyboard. U and I are together.
if u fail at first call it v1.1 n move on
There are more important things in life than money. The trouble is they all cost money.
If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.
To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.
A gay prayed 2 GOD and asked "Oh! Lord, is homosexuality against ur design of human nature?" GOD: "Yes my child, I created Adam n Eve...Not Adam n Steve..
Money sure doesn't buy happiness, but its easier to cry in a porshe than on a bike.
I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything!
needs a new scale...Stepped on mine today and it said "ONE PERSON AT A TIME PLEASE!
i am not drunk , i am still drinking.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
I was born cool, but global warming made me hot!
I drank my 8 glasses of water today. Well... 90% water anyway, there may have been some barley, hops, and yeast mixed in there for taste
A young man looking to get married asked his friend"Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like. "Oh that's easy" his pal replied "All you have to do is find someone who's like your mother". I did that already he said "and that one my father didn't like."
“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
I'd rather open my Facebook ...... Than to
"FACE my BOOK"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot his pill And now there's little Frankie
dear neighbor who's having a loud sex everynight..pls quiet down or send invites!
You can't leave footprints in the sands of time if you're sitting on your butt. And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?
If strippers are now called "exotic dancers" then drug dealers should be called "exotic pharmacist"
Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing Religion, Sexuality and Mystery. Student wrote: "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?"
Google turned 12 this year, which means we only have one year left to use it. When it becomes a teenager, it won't answer anything.
Failure is not when ur girlfriend leaves you... It�s only when u leave her a virgin!
The last thing I want to do is hurt you..... But it's still on the list.
Nope, I don't encourage piracy, I download stuff and just shut up.
I was thinking about an appropriate tagline for a massage parlor that has come up opposite McDonalds. "I'm rubbing it."
Facebook: It's like a party, but you don't have to wait your turn to speak.
Only 1% of the total gals bcom the wife of their lovers
The remaining bcom the Password to the boys email id..
I'm tired of trying to win at life the hard way, where's the cheat codes?
When you mess things up, never say "OOPS!" Always say "Ah, Interesting!"
Great! Now the voices in my head have started saying Press 1 if you want to hear this message in English!
at least u r getting a rply..voice in my head says "services to this no. has been blocked!
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